Scout Falls 08/16/15

After how hard the white pine trail had been and the fact that I'd done a hike the day before we decided to do do the Timpooneke Trail again and see if we could push past where we stopped the first time.  I had been so tired after the first time we did this hike and I wasn't sure I would ever make it to the top of the mountain.  But, after we got started this time I realized the progress I'd already made in such a short time was astounding!

We reached the rocks (this is about the 1 mile mark of the trail) super fast and I had to pause for a minute to just take it all in.  The first time I reached this spot I was so exhausted I thought I'd been hiking for days.  We had already paused on the trail probably 8 or 9 times to rest and these rocks were a huge monument for me to have reached.  Most people probably don't even notice them, but I was so grateful to see these rocks.

This time when we climbed these rocks were the first place we stopped to rest and I felt like we'd barely even started.  It was a huge perspective shift for me, this is where I realized what GRIT really was for me.  We took a minute so I could take it all in, which usually presents in the form of crying, and just be thankful to myself for not giving up on me and my goal.  This was the first time I was able to say to myself (and more importantly believe it) that I CAN DO HARD THINGS. And that I really was going to climb a mountain.

This is usually a waterfall and covers these rocks and the trail.  This time it was empty and made a perfect throne cutout in the mountain, so I had to take a break and a picture.

We started a lot of new trends while hiking all these weekends together. It seemed like every time we hiked we found something new to add to the next week.  Lunch after the hike, MAN pose, the 'graceful' awards, crying on the trail (this was always just me), who could make Brittany mad first (Cortney: 3 Nate: 5), me pushing Nate off a cliff. It really was an amazing summer for me and made me realize just how awesome I am.

We had to stop and take a picture, the first time we climbed we didn't make it to the sign and we figured there just wasn't one.  But it turns out we had just turned around before we hit it on the trail.  Also, don't touch the sign, it will totally fall over!

Replenishing at Scout Falls

pep talk... sealed with a fist bump

Nate, such a boy.  I LOVE this picture

When we reached the overlook above Scout Falls (yes, we did make it further than the first time!) We decided to scope it out and find a place to do deeksha.  This was one of the most beautiful and peaceful places I have ever been in my life.  And later I will tell you a story about how this is where I learned The Truth about Me.

After exploring and doing some meditation and deeksha we decided it was time to head back.  When we got up to leave there was something across the meadow from us up on the hill.  A MOOSE!  It was so cool and such a fantastic way to end such an amazing day.  I learned so much about myself on this mountain and to see this majestic animal was such a gift to me.  Jamie tells a story about a deer to illustrate the difference between the human mind and an animal mind.

The deer never walks the forest thinking, "My parents left me when I was so young. I never had a chance! My shape is all wrong for me, I don't look like the other deer.  My antlers are not as big as other deer and I don't fit in with my light brown fur.  I'm a bad deer!"

They just are.  They are perfect in the stage that they are in.  And so are we.  We just are.  Our value just is. NO ONE gets to decide what our value is, it is always infinite.

 

Seeing this moose gave me the understanding of this story.  It solidified in my mind that I am infinite.  That my value just is and no one gets to decide it's worth less, not even me.

The lesson in P90 this week had been about releasing judgement.  The judgments we make about others and about ourselves.  The story of the Wemmicks was read to us and even though I had heard this story before, it had a much deeper impact this time around.

I let someone put a value on my worth for a lot of years.  I perpetuated that low value and this story, this hike, was the point that I knew I was truly done and would always be done living by that number. I am infinite.